In memory of my love

I write a few words…

An obituary to the heart,

Now an emotionless part!

Dead as the stone

No feelings. No emotions

But for Just a tick-tick,

Reminding me of what was there once.

The flood of tears wiped it all

No trace remaining.

So engulfed in the sorrow is my heart

That it doesn’t even lament the loss

It continues to function

Just the way it did

Only now there is a heart no beat

Sometimes I walk down the memory lane

& You start walking beside me

The curves of your face

The twinkle in your eye

Each word you say

& meanings you don’t mean

Each smile, each tear you fake

It echoes in my ears

…………..Like a curse

I try to run away

But you hold on to me

You dint need me …You had said

You dint need me…You had walked away

Then why Still?

Why you cling on to me

& why EVERYDAY I sit & write

Sometimes I walk down the memory lane……

Love? What is love? A strong attraction towards some person, a feeling of belongingness, some stupid chemical reaction or just a game which the mind indulges in or may be just lust. Having been in n out of three beautiful yet heart renting relationships  I still have no  clear definition of love and this infact inspires me write this story and ask the world what is love.

Kabir, a chocolate face with a chocolate heart .I met him when I was still trying to understand the science behind reproduction or in simpler words I was in school. Oh! He was so cute and all I ever wanted from him was the label “that this cutie is my guy”. He was 4 years elder to me but I was kind of comfortable with the age gap for the hiccups of generation gap had not hit me till then.

I don’t know what it was but something in me really appealed to guys so much so that many followed me everywhere. This sudden attention made me feel chained in my relationship of few months with Kabir and soon for some lousy (very) reason I left him ….. but with no regrets for I had some real great expectations and with such fan-following I didn’t have to compromise on anything or so I thought.

No sooner had Kabir made an exit another guy named Abhinav entered my life. Well to be exact he had entered before Kabir had made an official quit and was somewhere responsible for Kabir’s leaving also. Abhinav was very soft, lovable category guy. The kinds who are devoted to you and want you to mother them all the time. Although being completely opposite to my expectations of a guyfriend, our relationship survived a mammoth 4 years. I’d like to mention here that this young chap had me wanting to be my friend and more since two years until one day I’d said yes to him.

4 years! My God! When I look back I wonder why I didn’t call it quits on one of the zillionth times when I felt, “I need to move out”. Finaly, when I did take the decision it was solely because our relationship had become “give- give relationship instead of give n take.” Moreover I think I was trying to prove a point to the world & myself that I could be faithful to one person inspite of getting too much attention from some really very handsome guys unlike what I had done in the past.

4 years is a long time and it hurt to call quits but.. again, I had no regrets.

“Enough of guys “! I told myself .I want to live my life my way and not according to a long list of “dos “n don’ts”, which come with a relationship. But destiny had some other plans for me. While working as a freelance writer for a daily, I met this guy named Uday. A self made man, cassonova, highly dedicated to work and very handsome man. What started of as harmless flirting turned into full blown relationship within 2 months. The attraction was so strong that nothing could stop us-our age difference of ten years, his steady girlfriend of 6 years and above everything my list of expectations from my guy. It was supposed to be a relationship of convenience with no strings attached but soon it became an obsession. Staying without him seemed impossible and kissing him was a difference experience all together-it transcended me into a world I had never known before. And no it was not the ecstasy of a first kiss, for it had taken place ages back without froth or flavour. Time moved quickly and one day I left my job for a better one in another city. My looking for a new job, new city was a conscious decision. I wanted to leave him before he became a fatal addiction.

It was not that the idea of marriage had not crossed our minds but except love /passion nothing stood as a pro for our relationship. Not only was our social equation totally imbalanced but our ideologies and aspirations were all miles apart. For me career was of paramount importance although honestly I had been tempted many a times to forgo my ambitions or atleast compromise a little and as for him he was any day a home bird who couldn’t leave home for anything, not even if power and fame were served on a platter. I could see the guilt in his eyes every time his girlfriend called us when we were together. He admitted to me that he hated the fact that he was cheating her but “what do I do. I can’t keep myself away from you”, was his forever statement.

I looked at him for the last time from the bus window as he waved at me with a tear. He stood at the bus-station till my bus was completely out of sight.

Although we had promised to keep in touch but we both knew that if we did we would never get over each other, a scenario much worse than the current one.

Life is moving on .I’m still looking for a guy who would rise upto my expectations.

Do I regret the coming or going of any of these men from my life .I don’t think so! They were all good people but I think something was amiss. I’m still waiting for that special someone to come in my life and complete my love story.

Hellos to everyone.This is my supposed  entry for Dec 06 contest (if it qualifies)
Once upon a time long time ago… well once because I was never able to repeat my caper again and long time ago cause my failing memory reminds me of my growing age (life thou art an irony!). Okay coming back to what I was writing before I forget its where, when and how.

Now, I was in school at that time, I guess in 5^th standard. All of us first cousins lived in the same town and all but me went to the same school. Being a very close-knit family we used to hang out together (much to my chagrin).All my cousins right from size of Jerry to that of He-Man (I related all of them to only and only cartoon characters) sung songs in praise of their school while the chorus consisted of a lucid account of the fact that I was unlucky to be studying in a different, non-achiever school. Although I never felt that I was unlucky, for my school was as good as theirs (I still believe it) but I did not have the courage to fight them which made it all the more worse.

 Then one day my very bookish brain (My hobby was studying, Oh! God How boring can one be) came up with a novel idea. Ours was a boarding school where students came from as far as U.S. & South East Asia (all spoilt children of NRIs) with maximum strength being of Thailanders. I had often observed them talking in Thai with each other (even they used to sing songs instead of talking). And looking at them chatting away to glory, bang! I got my idea.

 “Theka meka mai loooooooooong”, God knows what it means or whether it means anything at all. But a proud me went to my cousins and this above written gibberish was my opening sentence. They looked at me quizzically and I very proudly told them that I had learnt Thai and could teach them also if they would give me “gurudakshina”. I was obsessed with mythological serials and their lingo also (ya I know what you are thinking)

Those proud and equally gullible cartoon characters fell into my trap (after all how could I , a non-achiever know anything that they did not) . With a promise of 1 Cadbury Dairy milk chocolate each, I taught them thai translations for these three words. ”hello”, “how are you” and  “Thankyou”. What translations I gave them only God knows for I’m confident even they must have forgotten (Good for me). You think it is ordinary then wait till I tell you this-once I got the chocolate I even gave them a thai translation to their name absolutely free (I think I’m good at marketing. What say?) Imagine my cousin shallini was ”aabzu gabzu” or something like that.

All in all, in a week’s time I had an elated soul, 5-6 Dairy milk chocolates and some gibberish spilled all over a note book which had the title ’English to thai translations.’

I think I finally, truly enjoyed coming from a ‘no-good, non achiever’ school

“I hereby certify that my submission is my original yet unpublished work and that it has not been copied from any place. I also certify that any legal issue that contests the originality of my piece is my sole responsibility, that rediff or the contest co-ordinator are in no way responsible for the same.”

"love is the medicine for all the pain in the world
BUT
there is no medicine for pain given by love"
 so should we still say
"its better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all"

what do you feel friends?I'd really like to know

Dear God please tell everyone not to waste water...

HAIL TOLLYWOOD

Hey guys this one's from the net n if u havnt enjoed it  b4 I give you the plesaure of readingh this piece.


Here is the reason. Why Newton Commited Suicide.....                      
                                                                           
Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil                        
movies that had his                                                       
head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and                    
laws in                                                                   
physics                                                                   
were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for                          
everything he had                                                         
done.                                                                     
                                                                           
In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to                       
such an extent                                                            
that                                                                      
he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes                                   
                                                                           
1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to                      
the doctors can't                                                         
be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the                         
fights, our great                                                         
Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's                           
surprise, the bullet                                                      
passes through his ears taking away the tumor along                       
with it and he is                                                         
cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!                                             
                                                                           
2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3                     
gangsters.                                                                
Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one                          
bullet and a knife.                                                       
                                                                           
Guess, what he does?                                                      
                                                                           
He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots                      
the bullet towards                                                        
the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces,                       
which kills both                                                          
the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster &                       
the knife kills                                                           
the                                                                       
middle one.                                                               
                                                                           
3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth                       
has a revolver                                                            
but                                                                       
no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even                      
in your                                                                   
remotest                                                                  
imaginations.                                                             
                                                                           
He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the                        
gangster shoots,                                                          
Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his                           
revolver and catches                                                      
the                                                                       
bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and                        
fires his gun.                                                            
Bang... the gangster dies...                                              
                                                                           
This was too much for our Newton to take! He was                          
completely shaken                                                         
and                                                                       
decided to go back. But he happened to see another                        
movie for one last                                                        
time, and thought that at least one movie would follow                    
his theory of                                                             
physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy                    
that all in                                                               
the                                                                       
world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast!                                  
                                                                           
The 'climax' f! inally arrives.                                           
Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the                       
other side of a                                                           
very                                                                      
high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if                    
he tries like                                                             
one of those superman techniques that our heroes                          
normally use.                                                             
Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain                           
because it's the                                                          
climax.                                                                   
(Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually                             
impossible?)                                                              
                                                                           
Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets.                     
He throws one                                                             
gun                                                                       
in the air and when the gun has reached above the                         
height of the wall,                                                       
he                                                                        
uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the                      
first gun in air.                                                         
The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.                          
                                                                           
Newton commits suicide...                                                  

JUST 4 U

Reveberate the melliflous voice in my ears...
A feeling which is finaly true.
No masks, no charades
Bare emotions with no hidden shades!
Reflection of our lives  shows the emptiness
...Silence making echoes of what we crave.
Reasons making way,
Doubts fading away
N with you in my arms today
it seems,
Finaly  my love story is coming true &
Our love is here to stay


chin chin
itee

hey wish all of you a very happy diwali .Have a bombastic diwali without any bombs and a sparkling one too yes  with the sparklers.

HAPPY DIWALI ONCE AGAIN

CHIN CHIN


ITEE

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm
leaving home.
  

  
  
  
I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a
scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Randy and
he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him too -
even
with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle
  
clothes.

But it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and Randy said that he
wants
me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though
Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days is
it?),
and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of our
relationship, don't you agree?
  

  
Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods
and
has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he has other
  
girlfriends
as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own way. He wants to
have many
more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Randy taught
me
that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for
us and we'll
trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In
the meantime,
we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get
better; he sure
deserves it!! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to
take care
of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to
know your
grandchildren.
Your loving daughter,
Rosie.
  

  
At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO". Hands still
trembling,
her father turned the sheet, and read:
  
  
  

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my
report card that's in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call
when it is safe for me to come home.

I
love you Dad!