Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm
leaving home.
  

  
  
  
I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a
scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Randy and
he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him too -
even
with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle
  
clothes.

But it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and Randy said that he
wants
me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though
Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days is
it?),
and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of our
relationship, don't you agree?
  

  
Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods
and
has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he has other
  
girlfriends
as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own way. He wants to
have many
more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Randy taught
me
that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for
us and we'll
trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In
the meantime,
we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get
better; he sure
deserves it!! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to
take care
of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to
know your
grandchildren.
Your loving daughter,
Rosie.
  

  
At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO". Hands still
trembling,
her father turned the sheet, and read:
  
  
  

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my
report card that's in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call
when it is safe for me to come home.

I
love you Dad!